Backsliding

It’s early in the evening on Monday, and this newsletter should have been posted already.

Our landlord decided that it was time to paint our apartment. That’s fine - honestly, kudos to him for wanting maintain his property. In fact, he didn’t stop there. He also wanted to replace the bathroom vanity & sink. And switch out the room heaters. And change up a few light fixtures.

What he DIDN’T want to do is give us ample notice.

So that’s why this Monday evening I’m perched precariously on a pile of my stuff, typing out this week’s newsletter, the newsletter that should have been posted already.

Over the weekend, I watched 70’s cult classic The Warriors for the first time. This is a little surprising because my vibe is definitely somebody who’s watched The Warriors. And I’ve had plenty of opportunities - it’s a popular choice at New York-based events and festivals. The movie’s got tuff gangs with silly names and costumes, it’s got actual NYC locations and trains, it’s got high stakes that grab you immediately.

And most importantly, it has my cousin.

My cousin moved to NYC in the 70’s to act, so the story goes. I was but a tiny child for most of that, but I remember that collective family feeling of SHE’S MOVING TO NEW YORK CITY. Have you felt that? Has there been a family member (usually a cousin) who Did A Thing and that’s the main lens through which you view them? The one who acts, the one who is a boxer, the one who robbed a bank, the one who married a white guy, the other one who married a white guy. I have a cousin who’s around my age; she’s lived a rich and full life and there’s still a part of me that’s labeled her “my Peace Corp cuz.”

The lion’s share of my cousins are older than me, which is probably why there’s always a tiny bit of awe when I consider them. They’re out there living and I’m the second to youngest cousin they used to have to babysit. Family dynamics can be annoying. Or comforting. Or stressful. I guess for me it’s a combination¹ - it takes me roughly 60-75 minutes to cycle from stressed to comfortable at family gatherings. I just always feel like I’m in the way or nobody’s getting me. But they get me - well, as much as they can.

Then I moved to NYC to do comedy. And now, boom. I’m the one who moved to Do Comedy. It’s kind of wild to be that cousin. Occasionally I’d get a message from a family member, expressing shock at seeing me in a show. “Tell us a joke, funny cuz!” sounds a lot like when I’d ask my acting cousin what it was like to play a juror in Philadelphia.

Anyhoo, she was in The Warriors. Seeing her face really affected me; I rewound it, overcome with warm fuzzies. “There’s my acting cousin,” I declared. She played one of the members of the girl gang. She didn’t have any lines but she cut a striking figure. There’s a shot of her draped in a chair, smoking a cigarette. (When my dad saw it, he said, “Well, that’s all you do when you’re at our house.” So the story goes.)

THIS WEEK: I have absolutely no shows lined up. But, I do have a birthday lined up - the big F*muffled voice*. So I guess I’ll be wandering around Brooklyn, waiting for people to buy me cocktails. However, it’s more likely I’ll be trying to put my life back in order after this week of home improvements. My podcast with Gastor Almonte - THE WAR REPORT - will have new episodes on Thursdays and Mondays. Check those out.

thanks, y’all.

1. Thanks to that blasted meme of Drake saying “cumbinaaaaashun” in that god awful accent, that’s the only way I will hear this word. I don’t like Drake having any effect on my life but here we are.